Thursday, September 16, 2010

Portland attractions

After reading a review about a local donut craze I suddenly found myself grinding my teeth. I've had their donuts.....several times in the past 8 years or so and I've been equally UNimpressed each time. Hoping for that moment of a fresh donut to change my mind, even the freshest of the fresh was a major FAIL. They get on a few food network shows and bada bing bada boom. Crappy tasting kitschy donuts are all the rage. SO it got me thinking...if I were visiting Portland that would probably be on my top 10 list of things to do in because I just wouldn't know any better. Standing in a 45 minute line to get a stale donut covered in cap n crunch. no thanks.



So here is the top 10 OVER -RATED places in Portland 
followed by a more positive list of must -sees!



10. Mt. Tabor
I lived within walking distance and spent most of my afternoons and weekends strolling around. That is because I lived next to it. The fine park that it is, there are plenty of other beautiful parks worthy of out of towners.  If you like hills with little to no views then this is your spot. It does have a soap box derby once a year that is a MUST SEE .....so if it's happening then scratch this off the "no" list and add it back on but otherwise go to St. Johns which you can find more info on on my must see list below.


9. US Bankcorp Tower (Portland City Grill)
Our tallest building in Portland with a bar and grill on the 13th floor. The view is great but you can get an even better view from pittock mansion and for free. Overpriced, mediocre food and less than stellar service.  Happy hour is good, but it's great in about a 100 other bars in the area.



8. Pioneer Courthouse Square
This is on every list of must see's I could find. Sure it's the center of the city and you can find kids playing hackie sack if you're into that sort of thing. But honestly besides grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting down to drink it while people watching there isn't much to do. It's also where all the street kids and bums tend to linger so that and business professionals would be the extent of the people watching.



7. Rose Parade
Between the turf wars and people taking themselves way to seriously the fun seeps out with all the commercial ads adorning the pretty floats. Skip it and head on over to Lloyd Center mall within walking distance of the parade route to go ice skating and sip hot cocoa.


6. McMenamins 
Throughout Oregon you will find these pubs in quirky buildings such as old school houses and refurbished theaters. Here's the scoop, IF you do visit one...go to the Kennedy school for a movie. SKIP the mediocre food and maybe even the drinks. They repeatedly make the "dirty dining" list so your tummy will thank you for skipping. The Kennedy school is really fun to walk through and if you don't mind lots of drunken noise throughout the night you can actually sleep in an old classroom. Catch a movie, catch some ZZZ's but skip the rest.



5. Chinatown/Oldtown
My office has been located in Old Town for the past 7 years. I often have to step over urine soaked streets and throw up from junkies and drunkies. A reality check with soup kitchens and homeless shelters scattered throughout this small area of Portland. The only things worth visiting is Ground Kontrol where you can play video games and drink alcohol and Lan Su Chinese Gardens. If you do venture that way  be prepared for smells that may take your hunger away.


4. World Forestry Center
Nothing says save our trees like a building built from old growth and sponsored by the logging companies. You don't really learn much besides how logging makes everything better. Kids may have fun but right next door is the children's museum.


3. Oregon Undersea garden and Wax Works in Newport
You'll dish out close to 20 bucks and it is LAME. Besides Branson Missouri this has got to be the worst wax museum ever. Most of the figures are almost not recognizable. The undersea garden is by far a glorified fish tank. Instead walk a few blocks over to the dock and watch sea lions for free!



2. Shanghai Tunnels
I'm all about facts and historical evidence. Historians have said there is absolutely no hard evidence that the tunnels were indeed used for that purpose. This will surely make many a dreamer upset. 
When asked about the facts behind it all, the tour guide said "this is for entertainment". There is no doubt that the tunnels are creepy and probably used for some illegal things back in the day....but your guess is as good as mine what really happened. 






1. Voodoo Donuts 
My above explanation is all I can give. I just don't get the hype, they are nothing to write home about.
go ahead....start the hate mail.



If after reading this you still trust me here is a list of great replacements.
It was actually REALLY hard to come up with ten things not to do. It's even harder coming up with JUST ten things to put on the must see. There's about 100 great things to do!


10. Ice skating
Lloyd center, Sherwood Ice arena, Valley Ice Arena and the Ice Chalet are all open year round and guaranteed to be a great time for all. If you enjoy watching ice skating the Lloyd center makes it possible to view the rink from 3 different floors.

9. Food Carts 
Yes, full of hipsters but you can really find some great food and sample so many different cuisines in one place. You can check out a map of where to find them and what you can find at each location. 


8. Rose Garden (they bloom June-September)
If the roses aren't in bloom head on over to the Japanese Garden year round for stunning landscape design and overall tranquility.

7. St. Johns Bridge and Cathedral park
Grab a picnic lunch and head over to what most locals think is the prettiest bridge in Portland. It's gothic architecture is unique and only a 5 minute drive from Downtown Portland makes it a diamond in the rough. The St. Johns neighborhood is a great place to catch breakfast and not wait for hours.

6. Saturday Market (open Saturday and Sundays)
Stroll through the waterfront and view crafts, eat food, and watch local performers. You can find some great souvenir t-shirts made in the great US of A. On the MAX line as well so no matter where your headed you can jump on the MAX and walk around for a bit. 

5. Oaks Park
Whether you have kids in tow or not there is much to do here. One of the oldest continuously operated amusement parks in the US. The roller skating rink has the original wooden floor and a pipe organ hovering over the middle of the rink. There is no charge to enter the Park with the exception of a few festivals such as Oktoberfest...you can check the calendar before hand to see what is happening when you visit. Located along the Willamette River, if you aren't a ride fan than you can have a picnic and stroll along the waterfront.

4. Sauvie Island
20 minutes from downtown Portland along Hwy 30. You will feel a world away from everything. Throughout the year there are different things to do. Picking berries, bird watching among many public trails, kayaking, pumpkin picking and lavender farms are among the many things to see and do on Sauvie Island. Watch out for cyclist! This is a happening spot to park your car and bust out the bicycle for a lovely Sunday stroll.  


3. Pittock Mansion
Once the home of Portland Pioneer and owner of the Oregonian newspaper, Henry Pittock and his wife Georgiana. Occupying the mansion until 1919 and is now available for tours that is well worth the 6 dollars or so that you'll pay to take the tour. If you just want to stroll the grounds it's free. This is the location to bring a picnic lunch and take pictures from one of the best views. Sitting atop the West Hills You get a full view of downtown Portland, Mt. Hood and if its clear enough Mount St. Helens.
website


2. Powells Books
The largest independent new and used book store. Taking up an entire city block and houses over a million books. With a rare book room that will make any book lover drool, hours can be spent looking and you can also bring books into the coffee shop to read. 


1. Mt. Hood
Anytime of the year is the time to be on Mt. Hood. Less than an hour's drive from downtown Portland you can partake in any snowy mountain recreation but it's the Spring and Summer events that I particularly love. Ski Bowl has so much to offer.  Alpine slides and frisbee golf to mounting your bike on the back of the lift to be dropped off and ride downhill through beautiful trails. You can go horseback riding, ride go-carts and test your fear of heights with the zipline. Timberline lodge is just a mile or so up the road where you may recognize the outside from the movie  The Shining. Mt. Hood is one of the only mountains in the US that offers year round skiing due to it's glacier.


Honorable Must See mentions!

Avalon theatre and arcade
Rheinlander Restaurant
Saint Cupcake
Mojo Crepes 
Multnomah Falls
Hood River RailRoad
Vineyards in Hillsboro
Tree to Tree Adventure Park 

and of Course the entire Oregon Coast








2 comments:

  1. We have got to talk about the Shanghai Tunnels. We went on the stupid Portland Underground Tour which was completely above ground and repeatedly the tour guide kept saying, "The tunnels were just used to move cargo..." But my dad's friend not only toured miles of these tunnels, he wrote a book. He said he found fingernails in the walls!

    ReplyDelete
  2. whoa! I want to read that book. fingernails! Now THAT is interesting.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by, <3 Heidi

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